笔者在课堂中做了一个作文评价活动，这其实是考官的一篇范文。许多学生在不知情的情况下，给雅思考官的作文评分并不高，大多给出了5.5或6的分数，更有甚者，给出了5分。

　　这同笔者之前预料的相一致，国内学生作文分数不高，不仅是英文水平低的问题，其实还犯了议论文写作方面的方向性错误，错误已经严重到分不清美丑的地步了。

　　现在分析一下这篇文章：

　　Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

　　开头段：

　　When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or continue their education. While there are some benefits to getting a job straight after school, I would argue that it is better to go to college or university.

　　第一句：背景句，起引入话题作用。

　　第二句：用让步状语从句改写题目，在主句中表明了自己的观点。并不是说用了while…I believe…之类议论文常用的词汇就成了模板，这是议论文的常用表达法。

　　主体第一段：

　　The option to start work straight after school is attractive for several reasons. Many young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. In terms of their career, young people who decide to find work, rather than continue their studies, may progress more quickly. They will have the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to their chosen profession. This may lead to promotions and a successful career.

　　第一句：本段的中心句，在议论文写作中，一个段落只能有一个中心句，且段内的所有论述都是为证明中心句而服务的，不能与中心句产生冲突。

　　本段采用的论证方法是"摆事实，讲道理"，这种论证方法是比较难的，在摆事实的时候，不能出现多余信息，就本文来讲，每一句都要出现与"work straight after school" 相关的词汇，且不能出现其他无关信息。

　　有些烤鸭可能会问，你说的那些什么"摆事实，讲道理"中学语文老师也讲过，可我们考的是雅思，不是语文。其实，不管是中文也好，英文也罢，只要文体是议论文，就得遵守议论文的写作方式，英文和中文只是写作语言而已，而"语言是思维的物质外壳"，仅仅外壳不同，思维方式完全可以相同。

　　主体第二段：

　　On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to continue their studies. Firstly, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having the relevant degree. As a result, university graduates have access to more and better job opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. Secondly, the job market is becoming increasingly competitive, and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not have qualifications from a university or college will not be able to compete.

　　第一句：本段中心句。

　　第二句：本段的第一个分论点。第三句：举例论证。第四句：道理论证。至此第一个分论点结束。

　　第五句：第二个分论点。第六句：对比论证。

　　结尾段：

　　For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that students are more likely to be successful in their careers if they continue their studies beyond school level.

　　结论处没有多余的信息，是对之前已经证明过的观点的总结。

　　总之，雅思大作文就只有两点：一、英文水平；二、议论文写作水平。有些同学沉迷于大词替换，错误的认为议论文写出来有不认识字才叫好文章，可问题是，你的读者是接受过大学教育英文母语使用者，你的那些大词，对于他们来说，还能叫大词吗？况且，大词还十用九错，最终结果只能是写出只能贻笑大方。

　　还有，雅思考试中的词汇是指与话题相关的词汇，把important换成essential之类，是没用的。在语言问题解决之后，评价一篇议论文就是论证水平的高下了。没有议论文写作的意识，导致了学生无法识别一篇议论文的好坏，错将一篇考官范文，评成5分烂文。