来源:环球北美考试院
小编: 28ACT拓展阅读文章:My Own Life原文:
Oliver Sacks
A month ago, I felt that I was in good health, even robusthealth. At 81, I still swim a mile a day. But my luck has run out- a few weeksago I learned that I have multiple metastases in the liver. Nine years ago itwas discovered that I had a rare tumor of the eye, an ocular melanoma. Althoughthe radiation and lasering to remove the tumor ultimately left me blind in thateye, only in very rare cases do such tumors metastasize. I am among the unlucky 2 percent.
I feel grateful that I have been granted nine years of good health and productivity since the original diagnosis, but now I am face to face with dying. The cancer occupies a third of my liver, and though its advance maybe slowed, this particular sort of cancer cannot be halted.
It is up to me now to choose how to live out the months that remain to me. I have to live in the richest, deepest, most productive way I can. In this I am encouraged by the words of one of my favorite philosophers, David Hume, who, upon learning that he was mortally ill at age 65, wrote a short autobiography in a single day in April of 1776. He titled it “My OwnLife.”
“I now reckon upon a speedy dissolution,” he wrote. “I have suffered very little pain from my disorder; and what is more strange, have, notwithstanding the great decline of my person, never suffered a moment’s abatement of my spirits. I possess the same ardour as ever in study, and the same gaiety in company.”
I have been lucky enough to live past 80, and the 15 years allotted to me beyond Hume’s three score and five have been equally rich in work and love. In that time, I have published five books and completed an autobiography (rather longer than Hume’s few pages) to be published this spring; I have several other books nearly finished.
Hume continued, “I am ... a man of mild dispositions, of command of temper, of an open, social, and cheerful humour, capable of attachment, but little susceptible of enmity, and of great moderation in all mypassions.”
Here I depart from Hume. While I have enjoyed lovingrelationships and friendships and have no real enmities, I cannot say (norwould anyone who knows me say) that I am a man of mild dispositions. On thecontrary, I am a man of vehement disposition, with violent enthusiasms, andextreme immoderation in all my passions.
And yet, one line from Hume’s essay strikes me as especiallytrue: “It is difficult,” he wrote, “to be more detached from life than I am atpresent.”
Over the last few days, I have been able to see my life asfrom a great altitude, as a sort of landscape, and with a deepening sense ofthe connection of all its parts. This does not mean I am finished with life.
On the contrary, I feel intensely alive, and I want and hopein the time that remains to deepen my friendships, to say farewell to those Ilove, to write more, to travel if I have the strength, to achieve new levels ofunderstanding and insight.
This will involve audacity, clarity and plain speaking;trying to straighten my accounts with the world. But there will be time, too,for some fun (and even some silliness, as well)
I feel a sudden clear focus and perspective. There is notime for anything inessential. I must focus on myself, my work and my friends.I shall no longer look at “NewsHour” every night. I shall no longer pay anyattention to politics or arguments about global warming.
This is not indifference but detachment — I still caredeeply about the Middle East, about global warming, about growing inequality,but these are no longer my business; they belong to the future. I rejoice whenI meet gifted young people — even the one who biopsied and diagnosed mymetastases. I feel the future is in good hands.
I have been increasingly conscious, for the last 10 years orso, of deaths among my contemporaries. My generation is on the way out, andeach death I have felt as an abruption, a tearing away of part of myself. Therewill be no one like us when we are gone, but then there is no one like anyoneelse, ever. When people die, they cannot be replaced. They leave holes thatcannot be filled, for it is the fate — the genetic and neural fate — of everyhuman being to be a unique individual, to find his own path, to live his ownlife, to die his own death.
I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominantfeeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been givenmuch and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thoughtand written. I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourseof writers and readers.
Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal,on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege andadventure.